Live TV, on now
The never scintillating C-Span is broadcasting, live the Congressional hearing on the "Constitutional Limits of Executive Power". Well, that is the official title, but it is better known as "The piss-in-your-pants Dennis Kucinich happy happy funtime hour on Impeachment of the "president" george w bush, kiss my skinny ass "Nancy pelosi off the table" hearings".
As with all Congressional hearings, all of the emotion has been drained of their voices but the words "HJ Res 1345" and "The most appropriate response to this unprecedented behavior is to hold hearings for impeachment" have still caused me to reach tumescence.
Oh, Dennis, work your elfin magic. I may, even still, vote for you for president. Thank you.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Obfuscate the Obsession
Look it up, bitches!
The Blogging for Dummies Handbook say's "when you can't think of something to write, just start typing. Maybe something will come of it"
a s d f j k l "sem" Fascinating!
Started the day cleaning the floor. Anybody need a wig made from dog hair? Went to the dog beach about 1:00 pm. Nobody else there. My least favorite bartender in the world was working. It took her about five minutes to come to the service area side of the bar. She opened with bitching about the customers who just had lunch and only left her a $2.00 tip! Then she asked what I wanted. I've been coming there for three years. I have never ordered anything but a Bud light. Fine. A Bud Light "Could I have a coozy for my beer, please"? "Um, a coozy over here please"? "I see 'em, right there, coozies galore. Louzy with the coozies. Could I possibly have..."
Forget it. I drink a beer in about three minutes anyway. Don't need it. Not worth the irritation.
Dog beach is nice today. Cool water, beautiful horizon. Clear of seaweed. I'm not going to let someone I don't care about ruin my day. Good God my dog is happy! That is really all I care about. Making my dog happy. We've got his favorite toy and I am throwing it far, he hasn't been to the beach in two days and I need to wear him out today. You know, when I want a second beer, it's just going to be aggravating to have to face her again. Well, I'll just have this one beer then. I drink too much anyhow. Ooh, some new dogs show up. They are happy too! Everybody running and jumping and fetching and sniffing stuff. Just to be that happy for five minutes. Fuck her. You know, I left my cellphone and my cash up at the bar for safekeeping. I wonder what she will do to it? It is probably safer here with the homeless people! I'll just go get it. I love it that I can just say to my dog "Drink" and he knows to run up on the deck and get a gullet full of water! I've got the greatest dog on earth. I really do have a pretty good life. Living in paradise. Well, kiss my mother fucking ass! Look who heads to the storage room just as I get to the bar. I'll just pay my bill and be done with it. The bartender, oh, lets call her Rita (cause that is her crunty ass name) totally ignores me, I'm standing there, in plain sight with a five dollar bill in my hand, and she starts restocking the fucking cooler! "Rita", no answer (I am six feet from her) "Rita!" "oh, do you want another beer? (What kind?) "No, I'll just pay up"
I hate that I left her $1.20 tip for a $2.80 beer. But, I am not a small person. I rise above it, stay true to my integrity and move on! Let it go!
Maybe I'll take some leather work to the hotel tonight. I've been making some really cool masks for Fantasy Fest. I really hope they sell. I am really enjoying the work. Creating things from raw material is so satisfying. You know what? Fuck that bitch! I want another beer, but I'll just go down the street and buy a six pack. And I have my own damn coozies in the car! I hate to break up my dogs day like this, but it'l only take a minute. Not to "show her," no, I just want another beer and to move on from this frustration and I can get on with my day!
I got the perfect parking space at the convenience store. Right where I can see the dog from the store and he is in the shade. No wonder she only got a $2.00 lunch tip. I know she didn't even give $2.00 worth of service. This is a nice store, I always forget. They have a great deli counter, good prices on beer and the best non-English speaking staff in the Keys. You know, I should really call someone about her. I can't be the only one to whom she gives shitty service. Someone should speak to manangement about her!
But not me. I don't care. I can't be bothered. I get very few days off and can't spend any of it on negative feelings. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. I've got my beer, my dog and a couple hours on my own. Thank God I brought the raft today. It's nice to get out in the water and out of the blazing sun. And the water is still cool enough to be refreshing. Ah, refreshing water, refreshing beer. Damn it, I should have got my red coozy. This blue one looks like it could be the same beer she, begrudgingly, sold me. If I had the red one, she would see it and know that I've taken my business elsewhere.
Well, thankfully, I've let all that go. I talk the talk that I don't care what other people think of me. But you know that isn't entirely true. But, it's a big enough world for all of us, and bad service does not mean bad person. Perhaps she has some kind of hearing problem. That could answer everything. Perhaps I should point it out to her and gain her friendship and just feel good about helping another person. That is the person I want to be. However, the person that I am wants to kick her in the snizz. (go on, be brave).
Well, that was all three days ago, and I have obsessed over it since then. But writing it out here makes me feel better. Free'r. Lighter.
Perhaps the Handbook was incorrect. Have at least an idea in your head before you start posting. And, for fucks sake, it should not take longer to come up with the title to a post than it takes to write it!
This is exactly how my brain works, not on drugs. Could you imagine...
But really, someone should call management.
The Blogging for Dummies Handbook say's "when you can't think of something to write, just start typing. Maybe something will come of it"
a s d f j k l "sem" Fascinating!
Started the day cleaning the floor. Anybody need a wig made from dog hair? Went to the dog beach about 1:00 pm. Nobody else there. My least favorite bartender in the world was working. It took her about five minutes to come to the service area side of the bar. She opened with bitching about the customers who just had lunch and only left her a $2.00 tip! Then she asked what I wanted. I've been coming there for three years. I have never ordered anything but a Bud light. Fine. A Bud Light "Could I have a coozy for my beer, please"? "Um, a coozy over here please"? "I see 'em, right there, coozies galore. Louzy with the coozies. Could I possibly have..."
Forget it. I drink a beer in about three minutes anyway. Don't need it. Not worth the irritation.
Dog beach is nice today. Cool water, beautiful horizon. Clear of seaweed. I'm not going to let someone I don't care about ruin my day. Good God my dog is happy! That is really all I care about. Making my dog happy. We've got his favorite toy and I am throwing it far, he hasn't been to the beach in two days and I need to wear him out today. You know, when I want a second beer, it's just going to be aggravating to have to face her again. Well, I'll just have this one beer then. I drink too much anyhow. Ooh, some new dogs show up. They are happy too! Everybody running and jumping and fetching and sniffing stuff. Just to be that happy for five minutes. Fuck her. You know, I left my cellphone and my cash up at the bar for safekeeping. I wonder what she will do to it? It is probably safer here with the homeless people! I'll just go get it. I love it that I can just say to my dog "Drink" and he knows to run up on the deck and get a gullet full of water! I've got the greatest dog on earth. I really do have a pretty good life. Living in paradise. Well, kiss my mother fucking ass! Look who heads to the storage room just as I get to the bar. I'll just pay my bill and be done with it. The bartender, oh, lets call her Rita (cause that is her crunty ass name) totally ignores me, I'm standing there, in plain sight with a five dollar bill in my hand, and she starts restocking the fucking cooler! "Rita", no answer (I am six feet from her) "Rita!" "oh, do you want another beer? (What kind?) "No, I'll just pay up"
I hate that I left her $1.20 tip for a $2.80 beer. But, I am not a small person. I rise above it, stay true to my integrity and move on! Let it go!
Maybe I'll take some leather work to the hotel tonight. I've been making some really cool masks for Fantasy Fest. I really hope they sell. I am really enjoying the work. Creating things from raw material is so satisfying. You know what? Fuck that bitch! I want another beer, but I'll just go down the street and buy a six pack. And I have my own damn coozies in the car! I hate to break up my dogs day like this, but it'l only take a minute. Not to "show her," no, I just want another beer and to move on from this frustration and I can get on with my day!
I got the perfect parking space at the convenience store. Right where I can see the dog from the store and he is in the shade. No wonder she only got a $2.00 lunch tip. I know she didn't even give $2.00 worth of service. This is a nice store, I always forget. They have a great deli counter, good prices on beer and the best non-English speaking staff in the Keys. You know, I should really call someone about her. I can't be the only one to whom she gives shitty service. Someone should speak to manangement about her!
But not me. I don't care. I can't be bothered. I get very few days off and can't spend any of it on negative feelings. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. I've got my beer, my dog and a couple hours on my own. Thank God I brought the raft today. It's nice to get out in the water and out of the blazing sun. And the water is still cool enough to be refreshing. Ah, refreshing water, refreshing beer. Damn it, I should have got my red coozy. This blue one looks like it could be the same beer she, begrudgingly, sold me. If I had the red one, she would see it and know that I've taken my business elsewhere.
Well, thankfully, I've let all that go. I talk the talk that I don't care what other people think of me. But you know that isn't entirely true. But, it's a big enough world for all of us, and bad service does not mean bad person. Perhaps she has some kind of hearing problem. That could answer everything. Perhaps I should point it out to her and gain her friendship and just feel good about helping another person. That is the person I want to be. However, the person that I am wants to kick her in the snizz. (go on, be brave).
Well, that was all three days ago, and I have obsessed over it since then. But writing it out here makes me feel better. Free'r. Lighter.
Perhaps the Handbook was incorrect. Have at least an idea in your head before you start posting. And, for fucks sake, it should not take longer to come up with the title to a post than it takes to write it!
This is exactly how my brain works, not on drugs. Could you imagine...
But really, someone should call management.
Christian Charity?
So's, I got me a new duvet cover. Nothing fancy just a little somethin' new.
Now my old one, it's not so bad. Just a bit faded and some fray-ing round the edges. I hate to just throw it away.
But...
Do I take it to the Salvation Army? Think there is someone in Key West, shopping at the S.A., in need of a duvet cover? Do you think the S.A. has a bunch of naked Duvet's all dusty clogging up the shelves? Am I required to go and purchase a new Duvet with which to be covered by said item?
I am a sea.
And just for Wen:
Tourist: Excuse me, Steve. Do you have an Old Navy Store here in Key West?
Me: No, but we do have THE Navy.
Now my old one, it's not so bad. Just a bit faded and some fray-ing round the edges. I hate to just throw it away.
But...
Do I take it to the Salvation Army? Think there is someone in Key West, shopping at the S.A., in need of a duvet cover? Do you think the S.A. has a bunch of naked Duvet's all dusty clogging up the shelves? Am I required to go and purchase a new Duvet with which to be covered by said item?
I am a sea.
And just for Wen:
Tourist: Excuse me, Steve. Do you have an Old Navy Store here in Key West?
Me: No, but we do have THE Navy.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Comparative Literature
Two news stories about Obama re-decorating the Lincoln bedroom in the White House.
FoxNews.com opens with:
"Meanwhile, Barack Obama was asked a question he’s never been posed in his more than 17 months of campaigning at a town hall in Fargo, N.D.
A woman in the audience asked Obama if he would consider redecorating the Lincoln Bedroom with Kente cloth, a woven fabric native to Ghana".
LATimes.com leads with:
"You have all these mementos of Abraham Lincoln, but you have this flat-screen TV in there," Obama told the crowd at the outdoor event."I thought to myself, 'Now, who stays in the Lincoln Bedroom and watches [ESPN's] 'Sports Center'? You've got your clicker. . . . That didn't seem to me to be appropriate. So I might take out the TV, I don't know."You should read when you're in the Lincoln Bedroom! Reread the Gettysburg Address. Don't watch TV."
I'm not saying whom is more accurate. I'm just saying that I HEARD that he was going to repaint the exterior of the building and rename it "The Black House".
FoxNews.com opens with:
"Meanwhile, Barack Obama was asked a question he’s never been posed in his more than 17 months of campaigning at a town hall in Fargo, N.D.
A woman in the audience asked Obama if he would consider redecorating the Lincoln Bedroom with Kente cloth, a woven fabric native to Ghana".
LATimes.com leads with:
"You have all these mementos of Abraham Lincoln, but you have this flat-screen TV in there," Obama told the crowd at the outdoor event."I thought to myself, 'Now, who stays in the Lincoln Bedroom and watches [ESPN's] 'Sports Center'? You've got your clicker. . . . That didn't seem to me to be appropriate. So I might take out the TV, I don't know."You should read when you're in the Lincoln Bedroom! Reread the Gettysburg Address. Don't watch TV."
I'm not saying whom is more accurate. I'm just saying that I HEARD that he was going to repaint the exterior of the building and rename it "The Black House".
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Are you fucking kidding me?
Elizabeth Dole Tries to Rename the AIDS Bill After Jesse Helms
July 16, 2008 5:09 ABC News
Oh my. Sen. Elizabeth Dole, R-NC, has officially requested that the ”Tom Lantos and Henry J. Hyde United States Global Leadership Against HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria Reauthorization Act of 2008" be also named after the late Sen. Jesse Helms, R-NC.
"That is bizarre," Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., told me this afternoon when I told him this news. "That is absolutely bizarre. The Lantos-Hyde-Helms… the idea that anyone would want to do that is ludicrous...I would try to think of something that would be less appropriate, but even with my disregard for convention it would be hard to do that."
The blog Joe.My.God has recalled many of Helms' AIDS-related comments:
Jesse Helms, the man who in 1987 described AIDS prevention literature as "so obscene, so revolting, I may throw up."
Jesse Helms, the man who in 1988 vigorously opposed the Kennedy-Hatch AIDS research bill, saying, "There is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy."
Jesse Helms, the man who in 1995 said (in opposition to refunding the Ryan White Act) that the government should spend less on people with AIDS because they got sick due to their "deliberate, disgusting, revolting conduct."
There has got to be another sewage plant somewhere that needs renaming instead.
FreeRice.com Definition of the Day
Misanthropy
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Misanthropy is a general dislike, distrust, or hatred of the human species, or a disposition to dislike and/or distrust other people. The term is also applicable to those who self-exile themselves or become loners because of the aforementioned feelings. The word comes from the Greek words μίσος ("hatred") and άνθρωπος ("man, human being"). A misanthrope or misanthropist is a person who dislikes or distrusts humanity as a general rule.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Misanthropy is a general dislike, distrust, or hatred of the human species, or a disposition to dislike and/or distrust other people. The term is also applicable to those who self-exile themselves or become loners because of the aforementioned feelings. The word comes from the Greek words μίσος ("hatred") and άνθρωπος ("man, human being"). A misanthrope or misanthropist is a person who dislikes or distrusts humanity as a general rule.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
To Honor
San Francisco Public Utilities Commission
The Oceanside Treatment Plant, which some San Franciscans would like to rename for President Bush.
A San Francisco measure seeking to commemorate President Bush's years in office by slapping his name on a city sewage plant has qualified for the November ballot.
The measure certified Thursday would rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.
Backers say the idea is to commemorate the mess they claim Bush has left behind by actions such as the war in Iraq.
Local Republicans say the plan stinks and they will oppose it.
The Oceanside Treatment Plant, which some San Franciscans would like to rename for President Bush.
A San Francisco measure seeking to commemorate President Bush's years in office by slapping his name on a city sewage plant has qualified for the November ballot.
The measure certified Thursday would rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.
Backers say the idea is to commemorate the mess they claim Bush has left behind by actions such as the war in Iraq.
Local Republicans say the plan stinks and they will oppose it.
Art
So's, Comedy Central has brought back "The Gong Show". Not really high-brow when it aired back in the, lets say, 1920's, but maybe worth another go round.
I made it three minutes.
Two words. Midget Wrestling. That was enough to make me reach for the remote. Ah, but I was not quick enough. They brought it down yet even another impossible notch. Andy Dick wrestling midgets.
I changed the channel in horror, worried that Paris Hilton would be up next.
Oh, Uncle Milty and the other frontiersmen in TeeVee. Where are you? You could have beaten those midgets. While wearing a dress!
I made it three minutes.
Two words. Midget Wrestling. That was enough to make me reach for the remote. Ah, but I was not quick enough. They brought it down yet even another impossible notch. Andy Dick wrestling midgets.
I changed the channel in horror, worried that Paris Hilton would be up next.
Oh, Uncle Milty and the other frontiersmen in TeeVee. Where are you? You could have beaten those midgets. While wearing a dress!
I drinks a bit
I knew I was drinking too much. I would get up to get a fresh cocktail, and the ice from the previous drink had not even melted a little.
But remember, I keep the air conditioning on.
But remember, I keep the air conditioning on.
Fun with Fido
My dog Mike and I play this game, a lot!
Me: Who is the cutest boy in the house?
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Dialing his I-Phone) Hello, is this the mental health center?
Me: Who is the cutest boy in the house?
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Blank stare)
Me: No, you are.
Mike: (Dialing his I-Phone) Hello, is this the mental health center?
Kellys Krazy Korset Korner
So's I've been working at the Leather Master store a lot lately.
I thought about it today, and my sewing is getting better and betterer every day. Right now I have about the proficency of a 13 year old girl with a particularly patient Home Ec Teacher. But I'll put my Mens Bondage Corsets up to any eighth grader, anywhere!
I thought about it today, and my sewing is getting better and betterer every day. Right now I have about the proficency of a 13 year old girl with a particularly patient Home Ec Teacher. But I'll put my Mens Bondage Corsets up to any eighth grader, anywhere!
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