And you wonder why I broke up with Facebook.

Subj: Check out my photos on Facebook‏

From: Larry Brownie Nettles

Sent: Sun 7/26/09 9:48 AM
To: Keywslt@hotmail.com (keywslt@hotmail.com)

Check out my photos on Facebook

Hi keywslt@hotmail.com,

I set up a Facebook profile where I can post my pictures, videos and events and I want to add you as a friend so you can see it.

Thanks,
Larry Brownie Nettles

I deleted the link so that you would not even be tempted. Sort of like looking at a train wreck. Or exactly like a train wreck. Still, I wonder what those pictures, videos and events might be.

Jesus! Your glutes look great!

From the Faux News Network.com

Pumping Faith: Bodybuilder Turns Church Into Religious-Themed Gym
Sunday, July 26, 2009

BARBERTON, Ohio — A developer has found new life for an old church in northeast Ohio by redesigning it as a workout center.

Developer and bodybuilder Al Horvath converted a Methodist church in Barberton into a training facility he calls Faith Gym.

Horvath kept the church's original 1892 stained-glass windows and added murals depicting such biblical characters as David and Goliath and Samson and Delilah.

He created a Superman theme for the church's sanctuary and replaced the pews with rows of workout equipment. He donated the pews to a Kentucky church gutted by fire.

Horvath bought the building in 2005 after the former Moore Memorial United Methodist Church merged with another Methodist church and moved out.

He says he's targeting people just beginning exercise programs and experienced athletes accustomed to strenuous workouts.

I know, I know, I look at all the wrong information and have a sick mind. He donated the old pews to a BURNED OUT CHURCH in Kentucky for Christ's sake! But all I see is:

Republican News + Repressive Church + Gym + Bodybuilder + Sampson & Superman on the cross (whafuck?) + hot-hot David on Goliath action. Damn, I'll bet the Mens' steam room/sauna at this place has more gay sex than a truck stop on the Florida Georgia border!

(YESSSSSS! Triple word rhyme! Flow-ada, Jora-Ja, Bow-a-dah! Yes, you may borrow that Mr. Sondheim).

"Wide-stance" Republicans in Ohio are out buying new spandex and lining up at their lockers as we speak. FOR THE LORD!!!

Also, I may need to get laid.

I too, could be an expert on the TeeVee!

I was just watching the "Faux News" network, just to get my cardio in for the day, you know. But I don't think they are even trying anymore.

They just did an "exclusive" interview with Michael Seymour of UNI Private Wealth Strategies, Inc. The topics were the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, the head of the reserve and the amount of power he has, and the power he should not have (ie, not any. Bernanke should step down or be fired says Mr. Seymour). Nothing particularly hate filled, except that Bernanke has "had a bulls eye on his back for a while now" turn of phrase, just an "experts" opinion of a public figure. (Hey, wake-up, keep reading! This blog will get interesting in just a minute! Or at least by the next post, I promise. Maybe.)

Here's the thing. Go and Google Michael Seymour and/or Uni Private Wealth Strategies, Inc. Go ahead. I'll wait. Hmm, hmm. Tra la la. Corn? When did I have corn? OH, back so soon? I thought you would be longer. But no, nothing on the Inter-tubes about this dude, or his, ahem, "company".

I just feel that you must have, at minimum, 'five' Google results to your name and company to be allowed to offer your "professional" opinion on the TV box. This guy isn't even on face-book! (I know, pot calling kettle...) But "Faux" still gives him a platform from which to spout the "opinion" that they want to hear!

For fucks sake, even the little known Ecuadorian Under-Secretary General Haywood Jablomi has better search returns than this dude. Let's hear his opinion.

(And Yes, I turn on "Faux" news just to look for the stupid baseless shit that they "report". But they are making it so fucking easy!)

Along party lines.

Boring, but important.

The Matthew Sheppard Act defines a hate crime as "violence where the perpetrator has selected the victim because of the person's actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability.

Today, July 21, 2009, the Matthew Sheppard Act passed the US Senate with a 62 to 38 vote.

Of the 59 Democratic Senators, 57 of them voted "Yes". Two did not vote. Robert Byrd of West Virginia did not participate in the vote. Apparently he is mostly dead. Ted Kennedy did not attend todays' vote, although he is the official sponsor of the bill. He must be pretty bad off today. I hope it is just a really severe hangover. Thank you for getting this thing started tho, Uncle Teddy.

The only Independent, Sanders voted with the Democrats. And will still drink alone tonight.

Of the 40 Republican Senators: 28 voted "NO". They then quickly cried Voter irregularities, since the Democratic total did not indicate the 5/8th vote of Senator Roland Burris. What? I'm being told that African-American votes count as a full person now. When did THAT happen? Senator Byrd was present for THAT vote.

Seven Republicans did not vote. Including Florida's own Mel Martinez, a renowned homophobe. I pray he was stuck in "Argentina" (and by Argentina I mean a vagina) Also not voting, South Carolina's own 'lil pixie Sen. Lindsay Graham. Although he did have time to speak out today supporting a bill that would allow anyone that had the legal right to carry a concealed weapon, in, say, South Carolina, would have the right to carry that firearm in any other state of the union, regardless of the other states higher (ahem, smarter) requirements might be. It is far too easy for me to then picture "Lindsay" then committing a hate crime upon his own nether-regions.
(Update: That dumb-ass piece of legislation was defeated on Wednesday. Thank you great sky Wizard)

Five (dare I say brave?) Republicans voted against the Republican bloc and supported the Hate Crimes bill. Murkowski of Alaska, Lugar of Indiana, both Collins and Snowe of Maine, and Voinovich of Ohio. Three of those Senators? Women.

There are a total of four female Republican Senators.

(Plus Joe Lieberman for five, when he cross-dresses as Elizabeth Dole on Tuesdays and Thursdays, of course. Wednesdays, Fridays and each leap year he does one hell of a Hillary, if perhaps a touch too feminine, though). Thank you Ladies.

Just saying. I think it is pretty cool that some Republicans can vote with their hearts and do what they think is best for their constituents and the country as a whole. Not what is best for their party. Their integrity should be celebrated. But if ONE Fucking Democrat does that and votes against health care, I will personally kick him or her in the vagina.

I've been Syndicated!!!

This right here marks the 100th blog posting at A Barely Gay Boy!! If I can get this thing into reruns, I'll be set financially, forever! And viewership is multiplying rapidly. I've got 3 times the number of readers than I had on the first blog! I figure in another year, or so, there will be ten of you's. Can I get a Woo-hoo?

Another lead...

A better picture of "the blouse". Yes, it is even uglier from the front!

To the Mall!!!

This is SO Fucked Up!

A: Walter Cronkite dead.
B: CBS is currently airing a repeat of something called "The Ghost Whisperer".
C: CBS.com's mainpage is promoting "Big Brother".
D: CBSNEWS.com leads with Tiger Woods "not making the cut".

But yet Michael Goddamn boyfucker Jackson pre-empted every-fucking-thing.

Fuck you CBS, just Fuck you!

But mostly, Walter Cronkite is dead. And that should not be the way it is.

You don't know heartache.

The pain in a mother's voice when she first must deny her own son. When a parent must say to the child "enough is enough, no more. I've done too much for you. This, you must do on your own" Tough love is just always so God-damn tough. You can nearly hear the tears fall from the mother's eyes when she must say to her only begotten boy "No, son, I can no longer help you search for this blouse"

A mothers love cuts the deepest.

You axed for it...

THE Michael Jackson/Sarah Palin Post (the very limited edition).

Thursday, June 25, 2009. MJ Dead. Such a fateful tragedy to humanity. Alas, to all musical mankind. Yeah, whatever.

Friday. June 26, 2009. In the Sarah Palin Camp (and by "camp" I mean, "Jesus Goddamn Christ, what, was I, Hilter? In my previous fucking life?") "Hey, we'll get in trouble if we don't get the Sarahtron in the News today"!

Saturday, June 27, 2009. The "Camp" (and by "camp" I mean, "Theres lotso truth in the old tes'ament") "Hey, the yellow-haired "chickeee-do", and by that I "do" not mean "chickee-don't", tee he he), from that Charlies Angels program don gon an died yesterday, too. We gotta find sumpthin to get Sa- Rah in the news today.

Sunday, June 28, 2009, THROUGH July 6, 2009, (and by Through, I mean walltowallmotherfuckingcoverageoneverynewschannelandIincludetheGoddamnFinanccialNewsNetwork24fucking7andIbelieveeventeheShoppingNetwork) The Camp: "Um, could we get a word in here? Hello? A word? Look at the monkey! Oh, HE had a monkey too.? Shit." Michael Jackson. Um, Huh. Whatever.

Thursday, July, 3, 2009. The "Camp" (and by "camp" you fucking know what I mean. THEY ARE AT CAMP!) "Hey, Yall, We ain't been in the newses's for a week. WeF. (That is Alaskan for WTF) It would be un-Amurican to announce this on Gods most-favorite holiday, so, lets wait 'till the network news cycle starts up agin on Monday.

Friday, July 4, 2009. "♫And the rockets red sky, and a big monkey pie...♫"

Saturday, July 5, 2009: "Todd!!! Get in here and give me another fuckin Darvocet! I need it now!! Get in here and "do" me Todd (Editorial note: Yes, Todd is kinda hot) Then you can go and finish your Iditarod! Shut the fuck up Todd, I am not fuckin' Shrill!!! I. AM. NOT. FUCKING. SHRILL"

Sunday, July 6, 2009:It must be Sunday...? ♫Jesus loves me, this I know, 'cause the bible tells me to repress homosexuals and married but really closeted homosexuals, and open minded hetrosexuals. Um, So♫

Monday, July 7, 2009. From The Camp, with S'Mores: "MMMM, leftover Apple Pie and a Family Guy Marathon. Happy. ;send tweet'. MMM, tweet. tweet. tweet. Note to self: Open Twitter account tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 8, 2009: The Camp (and by camp... I...Mean...a...a...slumber party that slept too late and missed the latest Josey and the Pussycats segment from under their blanket-fort)"Hmmm? Pie? Aunt Clara? Stroganoff and Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot Pie. What, was I sleeping? What day is it? Tuesday? OH FUCKKKKKKKKK! It's been over a week! NO Sarahnews! WEF!!!!! What'll We do? Pull out the big guns! What is the worst thing we got?
NO.
Not that one. NO, I said no".
What is the second worst?
Resign? What. That's it? The End of the Line? Well, I guess that it has been a good run, gang. But that is the end of the Palinoscopy. Group Hug! Well then, I guess that's the end. That is Goodbye,"





OR IS IT?





it ain't

Adjusting the Joke

Re: European Tourist at DOG beach. HE: "Keep your big black 'Duog' away from me".
ME: "Well, Frenchie, I don't go to Speedo beach and complain that the bulge of your cock is inappropria... Well, no, I guess that that's not a good analogy in your case"

Help a poor drag queen in need.

Keep an eye out for this blouse. Don't ask questions. It is just important. That is all.

Yo' hear this up H-8ers

How dare you, I say how dare you? To suggest that I lower the standards of this fine blog to cover the tawdry likes of that media-whore from our northern-most-state-like-area-too-baren-to-qualify-as-a-Canadian-province.

This blog is about content! Not quantity! I refuse to follow the main-stream media, or the right-crazy-as-a-shit-fight-in-a-monkey-cage-conservative-fake-"news" networks and give every half a minute updates on the still-dead-pedophile-plastic-surgery-addicted-but-hey-he-could-dance-good-when-strung-out-on-every-prescription-medication-available freak.

I am trying to raise the level of discourse. Dignity is crucial.

Now back to Type "OH" Dongs (I have no doubt there is gonna be a new "toy" on the adult market any day now) and Buttfor Beaufodors. It's as hot as Satans Taint outside.

The above is exactly 150 words. Suck on that Twitter!

But they were just tiny little missiles, hardly worth noticing.

North Korea fired seven ballistic missiles on Saturday, further heightening regional tensions [AFP]

So, the missles came out of those 7 little tubes shown above? Or has Al Jazeera gone the way of Faux news with their misleading captioning? Oh, Al. Why would the Arab world side with a country that has a bat-shit crazy leader, and turn against a country that just got rid of a bat-shit crazy leader that completely destroyed most of the civilized parts of Afghanastan and Iraq? What did we ever do to you? Oh, right. Sorry, our bad.

Update: North Korea has been on the leading edge of missle technology. Their Tae'podong series has been streamlined to carry the largest payload in the smallest missle. Although occasionally prone to early firing. That entire region, and really most of the Asian world is known for their dimunitive dongs.

(Rittle bit Lacist of me? Rittle bit)