THE Michael Jackson/Sarah Palin Post (the very limited edition).
Thursday, June 25, 2009. MJ Dead. Such a fateful tragedy to humanity. Alas, to all musical mankind. Yeah, whatever.
Friday. June 26, 2009. In the Sarah Palin Camp (and by "camp" I mean, "Jesus Goddamn Christ, what, was I, Hilter? In my previous fucking life?") "Hey, we'll get in trouble if we don't get the Sarahtron in the News today"!
Saturday, June 27, 2009. The "Camp" (and by "camp" I mean, "Theres lotso truth in the old tes'ament") "Hey, the yellow-haired "chickeee-do", and by that I "do" not mean "chickee-don't", tee he he), from that Charlies Angels program don gon an died yesterday, too. We gotta find sumpthin to get Sa- Rah in the news today.
Sunday, June 28, 2009, THROUGH July 6, 2009, (and by Through, I mean walltowallmotherfuckingcoverageoneverynewschannelandIincludetheGoddamnFinanccialNewsNetwork24fucking7andIbelieveeventeheShoppingNetwork) The Camp: "Um, could we get a word in here? Hello? A word? Look at the monkey! Oh, HE had a monkey too.? Shit." Michael Jackson. Um, Huh. Whatever.
Thursday, July, 3, 2009. The "Camp" (and by "camp" you fucking know what I mean. THEY ARE AT CAMP!) "Hey, Yall, We ain't been in the newses's for a week. WeF. (That is Alaskan for WTF) It would be un-Amurican to announce this on Gods most-favorite holiday, so, lets wait 'till the network news cycle starts up agin on Monday.
Friday, July 4, 2009. "♫And the rockets red sky, and a big monkey pie...♫"
Saturday, July 5, 2009: "Todd!!! Get in here and give me another fuckin Darvocet! I need it now!! Get in here and "do" me Todd (Editorial note: Yes, Todd is kinda hot) Then you can go and finish your Iditarod! Shut the fuck up Todd, I am not fuckin' Shrill!!! I. AM. NOT. FUCKING. SHRILL"
Sunday, July 6, 2009:It must be Sunday...? ♫Jesus loves me, this I know, 'cause the bible tells me to repress homosexuals and married but really closeted homosexuals, and open minded hetrosexuals. Um, So♫
Monday, July 7, 2009. From The Camp, with S'Mores: "MMMM, leftover Apple Pie and a Family Guy Marathon. Happy. ;send tweet'. MMM, tweet. tweet. tweet. Note to self: Open Twitter account tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 8, 2009: The Camp (and by camp... I...Mean...a...a...slumber party that slept too late and missed the latest Josey and the Pussycats segment from under their blanket-fort)"Hmmm? Pie? Aunt Clara? Stroganoff and Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot Pie. What, was I sleeping? What day is it? Tuesday? OH FUCKKKKKKKKK! It's been over a week! NO Sarahnews! WEF!!!!! What'll We do? Pull out the big guns! What is the worst thing we got?
NO.
Not that one. NO, I said no".
What is the second worst?
Resign? What. That's it? The End of the Line? Well, I guess that it has been a good run, gang. But that is the end of the Palinoscopy. Group Hug! Well then, I guess that's the end. That is Goodbye,"
OR IS IT?
it ain't
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If you are still somewhat (if possible) on the fence with this "Hey look at me" whore...be sure to read this month's Vanity Fair article (thanks again Bridgee). They couldn't find to many people to interview that had to much nice to say about her, well I mean they couldn't find anyone with a high school education, to say anything nice. Anyone they did find,with pleasantries about her, said things could have just as easily been said in the same context to a small child who just learned how to tie their own shoes. "We're all so proud", "We all knew she was very special", She's very talented and ambitious". Well, you get the idea, just read the article.
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