TO: Steve Turner
FROM: Connie Christian
Executive Director
DATE: October 16, 2009
RE: 90 Day Increase
On behalf of the Board of Directors and myself, I would like you to know that we are happy that you are part of the FKSPCA team. Effective this pay period, your hourly rate has been increased to $10.20. Please don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions.
Yes, some questions.
1.
Do you think you could have at least signed this? Or presented it in person? Even put your initials on it?
2.
Does passive-aggression come easily to you, or is it a challenge you have so successfully conquered?
3.
Wouldn't it have been easier to just tear the page out of the employee manual that says "after a 90 day probationary period, the minimal salary increase is 2%, and is mandatory for every new employee, whether the Director likes it or not?
4.
Did you know that although a package of gold stars may cost well over a dollar, a hand drawn smiley face is free?
5.
Will it be easier for you to shove those two dimes up your ass, or would you prefer four nickels? Or perhaps a full quarter and you can poop back out 5 cents change?6.
Am I too sensitive? Am I at least humorous about it?
7 comments:
Well Steve it looks to me like you did the same thing to this paper as you did to those reports ever nightat the Inn. Did you?
You could have done what I did (in my head), when I got my first .25 cent raise here at my big girl job. You know the career type of job that you pursue as a means to an end job. Just tell the nice tight ass motherfuckers, to keep that fucking quarter till you can at the very least add three of his friends with it! Wouldn't want to be throw my happy ass into a higher tax bracket! Fuckers.
And you mean to seriously tell me that they actually put a .42 cent stamp on that literary version of a shit bomb via the mail? Again. A strongly worded, FUCKERS!
I can't breathe
dying
crying
wheezy-laughing
can't stop
oh please make it stop
oh my goddddddddddddddddd
Todd said you can get a big Mick now because mcdowels copies everything but they don't have sesame seeds on their buns
from Eddie Murphy in coming to America
Don't you just have to love them Wallens? They are the only other people I know 'sides us, that can at any moment, for any reason, can recite "B" movie lines.
Oh. And one more thing.
What's her last name? The director?
Oh yes....of course..... That's what it is.....
O.K.! The big gay party is over. Hang-over should be gone, You've had time to wash the glitter from all the orofies's. Time to get back to the business of entertaining me by regaling of tales of shit's what you saw.
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