Don't get me wrong. It is very nice to get a Christmas card from these just-so-lovely people. And I'm sure you people know a bit more about them than I do. But, from my point of view, most of what I know about these two fun fun fun people pertains to Beer,Burgers, Cornhole-ing and glittered snails. Like I said, fun fun fun!
But, as God as my witness, I didn't know that they had a kid. Especially a kid that looks younger than our friendship is old. How can a baby make me feel betrayed? Damn baby.
Or do they? Those second two pictures look like they stumbled upon one of those public-attractions where you put your head up to a painted plywood muscle man or mermaid. "Hey, Honey. Look! A Baby. Take my picture with it. Now let me take your picture with it!" They could get into trouble doing that.
Then there's the pose. Both of them seem to be saying "Looky, looky! I'm holding a baby and have virtually no poo on the palm of my hand!"
Then there is the question of that first picture. Who the hell took that picture? The Baby? Smug fucking baby photographer!
Then the baby gets left out of the final credits. "Merry Christmas! Bruce and Michelle". And? And? No "Special cameo appearance" by Little Baby Betterthanyou?
Who the hell is this baby? And why it she using the "Dog and Bone" motif, yet picturing the tot and not the pet? What did this devious baby do to the dogs?
I just don't trust this baby. She is out to harm my friends. Just what is this little Cornhole-Kid have planned?
And Merry Christmas, and to all a good night!
3 comments:
I sure hope they've inoculated themselves. Those little fuckers are just a walking, talking, shitting petri dish's of misery waiting to land on someone, anyone. Blaahh
On a side note though, we'll wait to do our annual trip to bass pro shops Santa, so you can go with. We like to take a cooler and have a sit, just outside of eyeshot of the big guy, and watch the inevitable meltdowns. Ahh, beer, bass pro and seeing little children further lower the self esteem of an over weight, boarder line functional alcoholic elderly man, trying to make a little extra wine money....Priceless.
I'm told by those in the know, the child in question, is the Grand kid. I didn't know they had kids in which a grandchild could be produced. Huh.
I think it's Randy and Monique. She probably bought that baby just so she could buy more shit with her school board credit card!
And I know!
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