Get out the charts! Get the LED Screen powered up! Get my poncho dry cleaned! Stat!
(Surgery doctor: "I can't do this job alone. Nurse get me another doctor. Stat." Surgery nurse: "Paging Dr. Stat. Dr. Stat. Dr Stat come to the E.R. right away")
Holy Shit! This is the moment the Weather Channel has been waiting for since last November 1. Hurricanes! Oh my fucking God, a Hurricane is a coming! It's gonna be a KILLER STORM! We gotta make up for the slow season so far. This is our chance!
Seriously. No seriously. We have a tropical storm. A mild tropical storm. A newly formed, mild tropical storm. How did the Weather Channel become Fox "news" in 20 minutes?
They aren't referring to countries, states or sovereign nations, but to "targets". This HURRICANE is pissed and its coming for ya! And that EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE in the Eastern United States should be on alert! They are focused on the fact that "this is a huge concentration over land". I remember that when the concentration was over water (warm water) was when we should be concerned. Why do they keep changing the laws of physics on me?
Jim Cantore says "The Florida Keys may, repeat may, need to evacuate on Sunday night. That's not my call, that is up to the E.O.C." But clearly implying that if it were his decision, he'd issue the panic order right now. And, just now, commenting on how well prepared Florida is, he did suggest that if you don't have the flood insurance, you may want to get it right now. Right Now! Jim Cantore can kiss my dick.
There was this one time when he worked for NBC in Miami, and I was in a gay bar after hours. I'm just saying, I just remember a bald head and these wide, wide shoulder pads! (Hi Mom! Thanks for reading!)
And what, exactly, is it with the shoulder pads? Both J.C. and that gee.org.ge.us black guy that looks like he was carved out of delicious chocolate cream cheese. Between them, they've got like 8 feet of shoulders! Who coordinates the two of them getting onto to the set together? I'm picturing a team like the wranglers of the Garfield balloon float during Macy's parade.
Should this be my last post, due to flooding, impalement or decapitation I was unprepared for, nay, scoffed at, please re-read my posts on Rita. I feel I sounded much more mentally balanced then.
Godspeed.
And now, your local on the eights. "Saturday, Partly cloudy, 10% chance of rain. Sunday: Sunny, 10% chance of rain. Monday: Sunny, 10% chance of rain" No. Fucking. Shit.
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Yep, that about sums it up. Can't you just picture the big circle jerk going on right now at hurricane central, and at the aquafina water plant!
Well, I need to get back in the sun and work on my skin cancer, wouldn't want the national guard to find a pale bloated corpse, you no what they say, "every bloated corpse looks better with a tan!" Good luck, to you and yours, see you on the other side.
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